After my mother took her own life, I felt as if my life needed a radical change. Initially, I thought that meant changing my job or going on vacation or doing something “crazy”. I was fired up for the first time in ages. However, “real life” took over and I didn’t make any such changes…I stagnated.

It wasn’t until I went to therapy for grief a year later that my life began to change, unbeknownst to myself. In time, I grew confident of myself as a person and in my own beliefs. As more time past, I knew that this was the radical change. These changes led to the profound depression, heavy drinking, dissatisfaction with my job, the divorce I am now going through, the brief affair I had with someone I truly love, and my own suicide attempt.

After some time in the hospital, I learned about true perspective. My world view changed. I came to the realization that we are all being “conditioned” to conform, that if you don’t define “success” as having all the material things in your life, the high-paying job, the wife, the kids, the house, the “American Dream”, that you are not a grown up, you are a failure in the eyes of the world. Who’s world? Not mine. I found that my values did not align with the world’s and that for the first time in my life, I was OK with that. I found that I could live by my values and shrug those that I were not mine. That is not to say that I do whatever I want, but I finally feel that I have latitude and the ability to make “real” change, for me.

Some of the ideas on this blog remind me of Ayn Rand, but less rigid. I am actually just finishing her book “Atlas Shrugged”, which is my second time through. Very inspirational reading.

Thanks for the posting and this blog. I have added to my list of daily reading!

The question of whether or not the price is worth it or not depends solely on the Purpose of growth. Why do you want to grow? If your simply bored and and want stimulation, then risking your relationships and career for the sake of rejuvenation is probably not called for. In that case, it is a bigger struggle for you to hold on to what you have and preserve those things on which depend the happiness of more people then just yourself.

However, radical growth sometimes has to take place not by choice, but as a consequence of some form of duty. It could be a spiritual calling, or an obligation of some sort. If this purpose forces you to make a choice, a change in the radical direction. Then I think that risking everything is the only right thing to do.

You just have to know the difference between the two situations.

VANITY TOYS charm bracelet (detail) © briserisvegliWhy is it so hard to keep a place or a room free of clutter? Why do empty surfaces fill up with clutter, instantly? Why do items start to gather at the very places we've just cleaned a moment …

“Growth has Both VELOCITY AND DIRECTION”

Thinking back to past relationships (yes, I had one that did suffer and end from my desire to grow), I can attest to your comment about some relationships not surviving this kind of thing. Not only that, it can scary as hell – for me at least.

And yet, I jump on that bandwagon and do it anyway. I would say that I am in a unique position that I have found a reason to be greatful for. Unattached, I am exploring and learning a hell of a lot about myself.

Great post dude

Everything happens for a reason! I believe I decided to go to your blog tonight because I was meant to read this post! You gave me some very good insight on things that have happened to me in the last few years and was not aware of happening! I believe that I have grown alot in just the last 2 1/2 years and have had to deal with the whole growing out of relationships pahse of it. I feel I have alienated friends and contacts for a time, and it was necessary for me to do that in order to learn and grow. Thank you for putting that a little more in perspective for me!