[Editors note #1: This is a guest post by Corey at The Simple Marriage Project.  Corey's blog is ridiculously good and one of my favorites (even though I'm not married).  I highly recommend that you check it out.]

[Editors note #2: I think a lot of people believe that lifestyle design is just for single white guys who sell nutritional supplements, travel the world, and write books called "The 4-Hour Work Week."  But lifestyle design isn't just for single people.  In fact, every single interview or guest post on this website features someone with matrimonial obligations: indeed, marriage is probably the one thing that Chris, Jane, Dan,  Lisa, and Corey (author of this post) have in common].

 
photo by Skydiver Mark Wilson

"So how’s the old ball and chain?"

"Are you sure you want to be tied down for the rest of your life?"

These are two of the many question you may have been asked before you chose to get married, or they may be questions you are asking yourself currently.

Marriage is choice. And I believe this choice is a tremendous blessing. I shall explain.

Every person has within them a desire to be with others. Hanging out with friends, talking about life with coworkers, sharing serious thoughts with close friends, and sharing intimate moments with a lover. Whatever it is, it’s often better when shared with another person.

But what about the other side of things? The side that each of us have that longs to be the designer of our own life. That doesn’t want to submit to the tyranny of others.

The truth is, we fluctuate back and forth between these two extremes. We move towards the togetherness side of things until those needs are met then we move to the separateness side. Take a look at your life the past few weeks. Can you see when you sought time alone? Or time with another person? Chances are you will be able to recognize this process in your own life when you look for it.

The key to lifestyle design for married people rests in the ability of each person learning to handle more time together as well as time apart. I shall further explain.

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[A Note from Clay: This post is the first of a series of liberation stories.  The story you are about to read comes from Jane Chin, who is one of the most amazing people I've met in the last year -- and I've met a lot of cool people in the last year.  Her story is long, but worth every minute.]

The Goods On Jane

Jane Chin was born in Taiwan, spent her childhood in Saudi Arabia, and came of age in the United States. Jane trained as a scientist, earning a doctorate in biochemistry and began a series of healthcare careers from cancer research to pharmaceutical sales to field-based medical affairs.  Now as entrepreneur, Jane can fully engage in Intelligent Career Design and chart her own future. The Census Bureau may put Jane in Generation X, but Jane sees herself as a member of the "Bridge Generation", where her multi-continental, multi-cultural, and multi-career adventures has helped her form bridges between different worlds.  In 2008, Jane embarked on an experiment to spend 366 days doing what she loves, to see what success, if any, may follow. What emerged is Jane’s personal journey to reconnect with The Heart Mind and Inner World Peace. She chronicles her lessons learned in the website, WhatILoveToDo.com.  Her other websites include Microbusiness Mentor and Intelligent Career Design.

Jane’s Story

I never saw myself as an entrepreneur. At one point in my career, I said that I could never imagine NOT working for someone else.

I liked the steady paychecks, especially from a six-figure job with annual bonuses. I liked the paid vacation days and ability to call in sick when I got sick. I was field-based and operated out of a home office, which meant I had tremendous autonomy over my schedule. I had a cool sounding job title (Medical Science Liaison or MSL). Travel was part of my job and I would pay my my husband’s plane ticket so he could travel with me to places like Hawaii and New York. He could explore places like Hawaii during the day when I was in medical meetings and we’d have some personal time in the evenings. If the meetings ended on a Friday, we’d stay over the weekend and return to Los Angeles Sunday evening. In many ways, I already had the "dream job", and in fact, CNN Money ranked the medical science liaison career #1 in healthcare in 2007.

I Quit My Six Figure Job With No Business Idea or Backup Plan

I can imagine people thinking I was nuts when I quit this six-figure job in January of 2004. I had no "back-up plan". I didn’t even have a "business idea".

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